Have you sold anything to a telemarketer? Have you tried? I have. You can turn those annoying 15 minute phone calls into 15 minutes of laughter. Let me give you an example of my first attempt the other night.

Caller: “Hi, is Mr. Orlund there?”
Me: “Yes, this is Mr. Orlund”
Caller: “Our Children’s organization helps out many children every year. I am calling you to let you know a little bit about our organization and how you can donate…”
Me: “Sorry I will not be interested right now”
Caller: “But our children would really like a donation…”
Me: “Well actually I am accepting donations. Would you like to make one?”
Caller: “Really? What for?” (in a happy tone)
Me: “I have a daughter that needs some money right now and I am accepting donations.”
Caller: “Oh really? Well maybe you would like to take her to our show. It happens once. Well… not once but aaaa…ummm.”
Me: “You mean like once a year?”
Caller: “Yes and it is lots of fun”
Me: “Well she is to young to understand”
Caller: “Well that doesn’t matter. How old is she?”
Me: “She is only three months old. She won’t understand it.”
Caller: “But that doesn’t matter.”
Me: “Why doesn’t it matter?”
Caller: “Well it is just a fun show. Like with magic and games and other fun things…”
Me: “But she would rather have toys”
Caller: “But the show is fun”
Me: “But her toys will last longer and you can make a donation of any size.”
Caller: “Really? For who?”
Me: “My daughter Joy. You can even make a small donation.”
Caller: “Really? I would love to.”
Me: “OK. Do you have your credit card number handy.”
Caller: Starts to laugh and does not know what to say.
Me: “Actually I am just not interested right now.”
Caller: “Ok….Well have a nice day.”
Me: “You too. I worked for a call center and know what it is like. Have a good day.”
Caller: “Well you just made my day. Bye.” (still laughing)

I hope you don’t think I am mean not donating to the unmentioned children’s organization but we help in other places both financially and with time. Besides that, it was too much fun to resist. My next goal is to try to sell my Block Buster Video card to a credit card sales man and convince him it comes with low over due charges and interest rates.