It has been a month since I broke my leg and I have one more month with my cast on. The worst part of it all is that it is so hard to do anything or go anywhere.

Before I just wanted to sit around the house on my days off. After a full week of work it was nice to just sit and not go anywhere. And now that I am almost glued to my couch I now want to get out. My plan is to go for a hike somewhere and take about 100 photos once the cast is off. Any photo from a view point other than my couch would be nice.

I have to say the one thing I miss most is being able to chase after my daughter and play with her. Chasing her with the crutches is not exactly fun to her.

From the couch, however, I did manage to get a good shot of my daughter. She loves crayons. She doesn’t color with them. She just takes them out then puts them back in…. or walks around with them…. or dumps them out then puts them back in again. She is obsessed with picking things up and putting them a way. I hope it stays that way.

I love my daughter and even a little thing like breaking your leg makes you much more thankful for the fact that it is only a temporary discomfort. There are people I know who will never walk yet have learned to enjoy life.

I want to be more thank for everything. I want my daughter to see  an example of an attitude of thankfulness, excitement  and just enjoying life no matter what circumstances may come. Life is more that these little things that appear to set us back or slow us down. I want to be the cheerful bright red crayon.

The Path

Summer is going so fast. It has been a great one. One that I won’t forget.

My daughter has gone from crawling and riding in the stroller to walking with us. Probably one of the must fun things to watch is how she is learning to play.

She is no longer just batting and grabing at things but it is talking, dancing and figuring out how things work. Riding and watching is no longer good enough. She wants to walk with us. She grabs our hands and puts them on toys to say play with it.

It reminds me of something I heard about leadership. Real leadership reproduces leadership and not just followers. The relationship starts at being a leader with followers but becomes a leader walking with leaders along the journey.

The followers (under successful leadership) become leaders and rather than just following the leader that walk with the leader.

Our little girl has stumbled and fallen many times. She has watched us and even other children walk. Now she herself can walk.

I hope we as parents can just as successfully teach her everything else she needs to know!

Dad, Check This Thing Out!

What is the first thing a little child does in a new house? Go exploring of course. Our little girl found her way into our bedroom and then into our en suite. A nice new roll of toilet paper caught her eye and my camera caught her. Now if she would just learn how to use it that would be just fine with me.

One thing she has just learned to do is shake her head when we say no. She even goes one step further and is starting to shake her head when she does agree with something. Usually it is when we take something bad away from her.

One nice thing is that now if she is uncertain if she should be doing something she will look at us for approval. Before we never had to say yes to anything. She would just go head and do whatever she felt like doing. It is like she is slowly learning some self-control.

When she is uncertain of someone or of doing something we repeat “yes” to her and slowly she feels comfortable. At times I wondered about saying “no” to her so much but now I am glad we did. I think it has taught her that she shouldn’t do things just because she wants to. I also think it will teach her to be able to say no to things more easily in the future. Not only say no to bad things but also say no to things that are not as profitable as other things.

I am the kind of person that quickly says yes. I say yes to too many things. Not that all those things are bad but things that I don’t need to do or get involved in.

In the end I hope my daughter can just as easily say yes or no. I hope that her choices are based not on feelings that change with circumstances and moods but that she is guided by morals and by thinking things through. The odd tug and unraveling of a toilet paper roll is okay and harmless as long as it stays dry.

Saying Goodbye

Only days away until we will be saying goodbye to our first home. We bought it about five years ago. Even though we love our place, we are looking forward to our new home. A little more room for our little girl, rec room for my wife to take care of a couple kids (as a side income), and a school yard to take the kids to.

Five years ago I was make very little money as technical support and it was all we could afford. Working hard to save money, getting a better job as a Software Analyst / Database Administrator and now becoming a dad, it was time to get something a little bigger and better. At times it felt like we were going nowhere.

Now looking back all those months of scrapping by, it was well worth the sacrifices. We paid off our mobile home and have a large down payment. Someone said that the success is where preparation and opportunity meet. There are sacrifices, preparation and work before you can ever become successful. If the opportunity comes but there was no preparation  ahead of time you miss the opportunity.

Just thinking about my little girls life, what will make her life a success? As a dad it is my responsibility to prepare her for life. It will me sacrifices and work for me. It will mean getting her to do things she might not always like. There will be good times and though times but in the end she will be a success.

So I guess that is my goodbye to our home, the work, the hard times and the good times. It is a hello to an opportunity taken and preperation for the next opportunity down the road.

Joy and Grandpa (my dad)

Working in IT and living in a small city do not really go together well, especially when lumber and mining our the main industry. However, with both sets of Joy’s grandparents living here we decided to stay (at least for now).

To us family is more important that having a big house, new cars or holidays. Don’t get me wrong, I like those things very much. I also want to make lots of money. In fact, if you have lots of money you probably can afford to work less and spend more time with them. So I think there is a balance spending time to make money and spending money to make time.

Right now neither money nor time are in my favor but I am working hard to keep a balance. Having grandparents around has been great. She loves all the attention from grandparents, uncles and her favorite aunt

To live a wealthy life requires success in all areas of life. Finances, health, family, friends and a relationship with God are among the things that make our lives wealthy. A lack in one area usually means a lack in another area. Somethings hold more value and we all value somethings more than other things.

For us grandparents rank very high on the list of things that make our lifes wealthy.

Up to this point all our parenting skills required of us was to meet her physical needs, show her we love her, that she is protected and that she is safe. I don’t think that was too hard for either of us. We both come from great, loving and caring homes. We have great people that serve as examples all around us.

With Joy learning to crawl we have also begun to teach her the word “No”. In our society it seems as if this word does not exist. Everyone is told they can have what they want, do as they feel and that there is nothing to stop them. I believe that self discipline brings success. It brings success not only to us in the physical form (our positions, money and jobs) but it also brings success to the real us (who we are as a person, relationships and our thinking).

Teaching “No”

Joy now crawls towards the power cables and Ethernet cables to our computers. If we say “No” to her she will slowly move her hand away then attempt again. Each time we say no she is learning it is something she shouldn’t do. She does not fully understand what it means and she definitely does not understand why. After saying no a couple of times we move her to something she can have because we know that she does not completely know what we are saying to her. We want to show her there are some thing she can not have and other things she can freely enjoy.

We take the opportunity to say “No” a couple of times so that she can learn. Eventually she will know what “No” means then once she fully understands it will be a matter of if she chooses to obey or not. Obedience is where real parenting comes in. From obedience, self discipline will come in the form of “Do I do what is right when Dad and Mom are not watching?”.

There will be times when she can’t understand why we say “No” even if we do try and explain. The harm remains the same if she understands or doesn’t understand why. The harm is there when we are watching or not watching. Obedience and self discipline keeps us safe and brings us success.

Being The Example

That is a hard enough topic to think about when we talk about raising kids and definitely an important topic. Let us not however just look at how to raise our kids without being the example. So let me ask this question: Are we as well educated adults willing to accept “No” from people of authority (Bosses, governors, and others who are over us)? Will we do what is right whether we understand or not, and whether they are watching or not?

To teach her to love and care for others, live a life filled with joy, live in peace, to be patient and kind, to do what’s good and right, be faithful, be gentle with people, and have self-control. Above all this we commit our lives to teaching her to love and follow after God, after all He is the only one who can fully teach us to live this kind of life.

Whether your “religious” or not, I hope you to will commit teach your children to live a life like this. Even more importantly to seek for the truth and not to be influenced by the crowd, media or even our own thoughts of what we feel is right.

Here is a video of Joy’s baby dedication that I believe shows the value and importance of children and having others as a support in raising a child. (Thanks to Norm for video taping this).

Jokes don’t work, goofy games don’t work, T.V. cartoons don’t work but silly noises and snuggles produce the happy giggles and wiggles.

Everyday I give her a kiss before I leave to work, everyday a hello when I get home. I think hugs, kisses and snuggles are very important. Both verbal and physical signs of love help pave the way to effective discipline.

When she knows I love her, want to protect her, provide for her and give my life for her then when correction comes she will have the trust that it is for her good and not harm. She will know that I want only the best for her.

For now I will have fun and be silly to making her laugh:

Here are a few things to remember when joking around that are important. These are the things that help create a fun environment without letting the joking become personal and destructive.

1. Don’t laugh at your children or mistakes they made.
   1. You should not laugh at anything that will embarrass them.
   2. Only laugh at something they have done if they are the ones joking about it.
   3. Don’t laugh at things that will make them think your saying “That was stupid”
2. Joke about circumstances or past stories of your life.
   1. Laugh about situations you were in.
   2. Laugh about things that happened to you.
3. Laugh at silly things you have done.
   1. Laugh at your own mistakes.
   2. This will be a lesson for them with out you having to say so.
   3. The only thing that could get hurt is your own pride.
4. Tell jokes that are not aimed at anyone specific.
   1. Tell jokes that are not aimed at people or groups of people.
   2. Tell jokes that will not teach your children to put others down.
5. Play fun (or funny) games with your children.
   1. There are lots of games that will make your children laugh.
   2. play games where your children can laugh at you. (like try to play charades)
6. Take time to be silly with your children (at the appropriate time).
   1. When your around your family it is OK to be a little silly.
   2. In adult settings being silly will not teach them that there is a time and a place for things
   3. With the pressures of life sometimes it hard to remember to just have some fun.
7. Do something they will think is spontaneous and crazy.
   1. Children like to feel special, doing something they like out of the ordinary shows them you are thinking about what they like and that they are important to you
   2. If it is really crazy or breaks a household rule you should plan it with your spouse.
      (like going out extra late to go swimming)
   3. It can be planned for you but they can think it was a spare of the moment thought.

No matter what you do have fun, keep in mind what your child will think is fun (not like visiting a museum or art gallery unless they really like that). There is a time and a place for everything. Keep adult settings as a time to act mature and adult like and reward them for it. Keep fun times as a time to joke, be silly and have a good time.

4th Year Anniversary Dinner

It felt a little strange leaving her at my parents place. It made me feel kind of old. I was, however, able to put those feelings aside really quick and enjoy a nice evening with my wife. Our date was simple and only a couple of hours but it was good to have sometime to sit and talk about absolutely nothing. No talking about work, what needs to get done or being interrupted by our baby.

This was the first time we left our daughter to go on a date. Now that she is old enough to be with grandma and grandpa for a couple of hours, I think it is time to start dating again. With the busy life of having a new born I had forgotten how good it is to just spend some one on one time with each other. I heard someone once talk about the importance that children see your relationship with your wife and that they see you need time alone.

The sushi restaurants better stock up because here is a list of some of our favorites:

• Tuna Nigri
• Salmon Nigri
• Gyoza
• Red Snapper
• Miso soup
• Yam Tempura